


Absolutely Impastable

by softjohn



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Finn-centric, Fluff, Fluff and Humour, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, but also a massive dork in love with her nerd gf, finn Could Not Cook To Save His Life, finn and rey's bromance, finn being oblivious to flirting is the best trope ever and can be pried from my cold dead hands, finn being the Biggest Sweetheart Ever, poe is the Biggest Nerd and makes pew pew pew noises when he plays video games, r.i.p. poe dameron, rey is a goddess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 14:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12255924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softjohn/pseuds/softjohn
Summary: ‘Can you please stop taking photos of me failing at making a cup of noodles?’Finn tried, he really did, to sound irritated - he’d even settle for mildly vexed, at the very least - but seeing his roommate Poe Dameron giggle helplessly as he zoomed in ridiculously far on, alternately, Finn’s face or the doomed noodle cup, it really wasn’t in him.





	Absolutely Impastable

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Giselle who is, in fact, one of the best bros ever (as laid down by the law) for finally making me write finnpoe! :)
> 
> From [this tumblr ask meme](http://bojaegers.tumblr.com/post/165933045607/thesadlookonyourface-au-prompts-based-on-my)

‘Can you please stop taking photos of me failing at making a cup of noodles?’

Finn tried, he really did, to sound irritated - he’d even settle for mildly vexed, at the very least - but seeing his roommate Poe Dameron giggle helplessly as he zoomed in ridiculously far on, alternately, Finn’s face or the doomed noodle cup, it really wasn’t in him.

‘Come on, man,’ Finn tried again, weakly. He was pretty sure that the smile which he was unsuccessfully trying to wrestle back wouldn’t lend much in the way of gravitas to his words. A half-hearted poke with his fork made the clump of ramen wobble sadly, and as Finn sighed, defeated, Poe burst into a fresh round of snickers. Seeing this out of the corner of his eye, Finn couldn’t help but direct a reluctant grin down at the tiny kitchen counter.

He consoled himself with the reminder that their dorm room came equipped with a kettle, so that the rest of the university couldn’t witness his shame. 

‘Sorry, pal, sorry,’ Poe coughed, his broad smile not looking apologetic in the least. ‘Just…’

He turned his iPhone around for Finn to see. Splashed across the screen was a pixellated image of roughly three-quarters of the side of Finn’s head, ear and all.

‘Take a look at this…Wait, wait.’ 

Finn glanced over at Poe. His face was full of glee, practically  _glowing_  (or maybe that was the iPhone’s screen), and Finn quickly looked back to the image, trying to swallow down the inexplicable sparkly feeling in his stomach. Poe was his very likeable, very platonic roommate. And that was all. It didn’t matter that Poe was the friendliest, most welcoming person he’d ever met, or that beneath the suave exterior he was an awkward dork, or that Finn knew for a fact that he was at least a little gay. 

Yep, completely irrelevant. Who cared? Not Finn, that was for sure. 

With an enthusiastic poke of his finger Poe started the video. As Finn watched, his pixellated ear moved a little as the phone wobbled and video-Poe snuffled in the background, interspersed with the occasional giggle. Suddenly, there came a loud  _pop_ and video-Finn looked around and straight into the camera. His expression was, frankly, the coldest, flattest, most outright  _bitchy_  thing Finn had ever seen - something which he hadn’t even thought his face capable of.

Beside him, Poe cracked up. Finn groaned, his face pinching with shame. He could remember that moment; a couple of noodles had actually - well, they had exploded _._ There really wasn’t any other way to put it.

‘That isn’t even  _possible_ ,’ Poe laughed, inordinately delighted. He was such a kid.

Finn finally managed to cajole his face into something approaching disgruntlement, only for all his hard work to be wasted when Poe bumped their shoulders together companionably. ‘Aw, lighten up, buddy. You’ve got that Skype call with Rey soon, remember? Hey? Right? Am I right?’ He nudged him with his elbow to punctuate each question.

Against his will, Finn broke into a smile - though he did at least manage to shake his head in exasperation, which redeemed him slightly. 

Damn, he was weak. 

‘Okay, okay.’

‘Yeah?’ Poe asked, raising an eyebrow at him. A slow smile was curling up one side of his mouth and revealing perfect white teeth, and just like that Finn felt the last of his attempted irritation slip though his fingers.

‘Yeah.’ Finn grinned back.

An odd, dazed look came into Poe’s eyes - which, Finn suddenly realised, were very…close. He could count every dark eyelash and see the almost invisible freckles which spread across the bridge of Poe’s nose.

The distinctive music of the Skype ringtone broke the silence.

‘It’s her!’ 

Finn, attention suitably diverted, bounded over to the softly burbling laptop. He scooped it up from the wobbly coffee table and collapsed down onto the sofa, bouncing a little with the aftershocks as he flipped up the screen. 

When Finn had clicked “ _Accept_ ” with gusto and Poe still hadn’t joined him, he looked up to see his friend lingering over by the kitchenette.

‘What’re you waiting for?’ Finn asked, vibrating with impatience as the connection loaded. ‘C’mon!’

Just then, Rey’s face appeared on the screen, so Finn only had the tiniest moment to appreciate Poe’s returning grin. He stored the image away for later consideration and beamed at Rey, who was beaming back with stunning brightness, dimples out in full force.

‘Rey!’ Finn exclaimed, leaning unconsciously closer to the laptop. Really, all he wanted to do was hug his best friend, and maybe spin her around a little. It’d been way too long since he’d last had the opportunity to do so; Rey had been swamped over at her internship with lucrative environmental law firm Skywalker & Solo LLP, and Finn had in turn been absorbed by his engineering degree. They’d been forced to rely on texts and a weekly Skype call, but Finn and Rey hadn’t been separated for so long since they’d become friends in the last year of high school.

‘Hi, Finn!’ Rey waved enthusiastically. A warm weight dropped down on the couch beside Finn, and she added ‘Hi, Poe!’ 

Her wave, if anything, increased in velocity.

How well the two got along was a source of endless joy for Finn; they were his favourite people in the world, and he loved the fast friendship they’d struck up. Not that Finn would’ve expected anything less - he was in possession of the unshakeable belief that it was physically impossible for anyone to dislike either Poe or Rey.

‘I missed you,’ Finn told her earnestly, vaguely aware of how close Poe had to sit to fit into the webcam's view. He'd stretched an arm down the back of the couch, behind Finn's head, and one of his feet was casually kicked over Finn’s.

‘I missed you too!’ Rey exclaimed. ‘Skywalker is fun, but it’s really hard, you know, and everyone’s so serious - except for Luke. But you already know that, obviously.’ 

They grinned at each other wordlessly for a moment, before Rey turned her attention to Poe. ‘How about you? How’s everything going?’

‘Pretty good, considering the mug of a roommate I'm stuck with,’ Poe said with an unrepentant smirk. Finn’s offended ‘ _Hey_!’ was drowned out by uproarious laughter from Rey, who actually leaned back and clapped her hands together. Finn, entirely unable to summon an angry expression in the face of this, resorted to jostling Poe with his elbow. Disappointingly, this only made him smirk wider.

‘Hey, is that a new jacket, Finn?’ Rey asked out of the blue, diverting Finn’s attention. ‘I haven’t seen it before, but it looks expensive. It’s nice! I’m glad you’re finally getting some style.’

Absently, Finn looked down at the leather jacket he was wearing.

‘No, no, that’s mine,’ Poe corrected blithely. ‘He still doesn’t have any style. Sorry.’

‘Yeah, I just look…’ Finn paused to shrug and put the correct amount of emphasis on the next word, which was a lot - ‘ _way_  better in it, so…’

Blinking, Rey paused for a moment as she processed this. ‘Oh… _Oh_!’ Somehow, she then managed to beam even more brightly than she had earlier, which Finn hadn’t thought possible and was summarily amazed by. ‘That’s great!’ she exclaimed. ‘So how long have you guys been-’

‘Rey,’ Poe interrupted, his eyes suddenly glittering with an unholy purpose as he bent closer to the screen. Finn merely sighed, resigned; he’d known this was coming. ‘There is something I  _have_ to tell you about.’ 

Following suit, Rey also leaned in conspiratorially. ‘Really? What?’

‘So, earlier, Finn was trying to make some cup noodles-’

‘Poe, do we need-’

‘-but I’m pretty sure he’s never before made them, ever, in his life, which he didn’t tell me-’

‘Really, man-’

‘-and it was just…the  _biggest disaster_  I’ve ever witnessed.’

Poe then giggled, which of course completely ruined the sour look Finn was trying to muster.

‘It wasn’t  _that_ bad, Rey,’ he protested, nevertheless. ‘He’s exaggerating!’

‘Am not!’

‘Are so!’

‘Are you forgetting how three noodles  _ex_ -’

‘You can’t prove that!’

‘I have the video.’

‘What video?’ Rey asked, thankfully breaking the (hopefully) aggrieved silence which was all Fin could muster in response. Unfortunately, this also gave Poe an opportunity to whip out his iPhone with zeal. As a result, approximately fourteen seconds later, Finn was sitting with his head in his hands as Poe howled with laughter and Rey, through tears, demanded to see the video for a fourth time.

‘Why am I friends with you guys?’ Finn groaned, despite the multitude of obvious reasons. At least his hands hid the smile which was unreasonably determined to form.

 _Pew, pew, pew_ , went Poe’s text notification noise. Taking deep, shaky breaths, he calmed himself down enough to read the message.

‘I, uh-’ he broke off with a muffled giggle. Closing his eyes and drawing his bottom lip between his teeth (which Finn didn’t stare at in the least), Poe managed to repress the laughter which obviously yearned to burst out. ‘I have to go,’ he began again. ‘Doctor Organa wants some assist with the quark-gluon plasma imploder. It’ll take five minutes, max.’ 

‘Alright,’ Rey said. She wasn’t even trying to conceal her massive grin. ‘See you ‘round, Poe.’

Finn grumbled a reluctant ‘Bye,’ regretted being rude to his friend, and immediately regretted this regret when Poe cheekily replied:

‘Don’t blow up any more noodles when I’m away, yeah?’

A nasty look formed easily, that time.

Poe only laughed at him, shook his head, inexplicably said ‘ _Angry duckling_ ,’ and left. The stare Finn directed after him was equally bemused and offended - alright, maybe it was a  _tad_  more bemused.

…Mostly. 

(Entirely). 

The point being: Finn tried.

‘Was his text tone really a laser gun sound effect?’ Rey asked. She was leaning her chin onto her palm, and there was something about her - some air of…satisfaction, maybe? - which Finn didn’t entirely understand. He dismissed it for the moment, sure that he’d figure it out eventually.

‘Yeah.’

‘Why?’

‘Because he’s a  _massive_  nerd, Rey,’ Finn said, as though it should’ve been obvious. It really, really was; Poe spent the vast majority of his time on old sci-fi movies, astrophysics textbooks, or some form of video game. His favourites were futuristic starfighter first person shooters. On multiple occasions, Finn had caught him making  _“pew, pew, pew”_  sounds beneath his breath as he mashed the controller’s buttons and focused on the screen with a scary intensity. This, of course, didn’t make something in Finn feel all softly fuzzy in the least, and he never beamed like an idiot at the sight, because that would be ridiculous and sappy.

‘Okay,’ Rey replied with an inexplicably indulgent tone. ‘So, how long have you and “ _Massive Nerd_ ” been dating?’

Finn’s brow furrowed. ‘What?’

His confusion apparently went unnoticed, as Rey nattered on happily. ‘I mean, it’s obvious that Poe’s been an absolute goner for you for - oh,  _months -_ but if I’m being honest, I wasn’t entirely sure that you liked him back. Gosh though, I’m just so glad that it worked out! You two are  _adorable_.’

As Rey beamed at him, hands on her cheeks, Finn began to get the ominous feeling that there had been a colossal misunderstanding somewhere. 

‘Uh, Rey, we’re not…’ Finn trailed off into a mumble, losing momentum with the knowledge of how disappointed Rey would probably be. ‘Together.’

This was greeted with a perplexed tilt of the chin and a cut-off intake of breath. Rey’s eyes then narrowed into a squint. ‘Yes, you  _are_.’

Finn could only shake his head silently.

‘ _What_?!’ Rey yelled. ‘ _Why_   _not_?’

A small, apologetic, slightly intimidated shrug.

Rey clapped a hand to her forehead and shut her eyes in supplication. After a long pause, in which Finn had the sneaking suspicion that she was counting slowly to ten, she reopened her eyes and leaned forwards onto her elbows. ‘Well,  _do_  you like him back?’ she asked, now marginally more curious than exasperated.

As a matter of fact, Rey was the only person Finn had told about his…well, he wasn’t sure how to label it yet, but in any case, he wasn’t entirely straight. He didn’t have any parents to tell; the staff at First Order Children’s Home hadn’t exactly been the type to confide in; most of his friends were of the more casual type (Finn hadn’t really reached the point of being confident enough to work his sexuality into conversations); and telling Poe…Finn hadn’t wanted him to feel uncomfortable, or think that since they were both interested in guys Finn would just -  _expect_  Poe to be into him.

Not that he hadn’t been hoping, just a little - and according to Rey, Poe was “ _a goner_ ” for him.

From anyone else, Finn wouldn’t have believed it, but this was Rey.

Finn flushed. ‘Yeah - um, yes. I like him. A bit.’

‘Then  _go and tell him_ , you fool!’ Rey shouted, and disconnected.

The suddenly dark screen reflected Finn’s startled blinks as a key rattled in the door, shortly followed by a cheerful greeting.

‘Hey, buddy. What’d I miss?’

Fin drew in a steadying breath and nodded, determined.

He was gonna do this.

 _He was gonna do this_.

 

: : : :

 

Rey closed her laptop with a roll of her eyes and an exasperated huff of ‘ _Honestly_.’ 

Finn was absolutely lovely, and she adored him to bits. However, how he hadn’t noticed Poe’s ridiculously massive crush on him was far,  _far_  beyond her. What with the multitude of adoring stares, the countless awed grins, the thousand would-be-casual touches, and just how - how muchPoe cared…

Clearly, Finn could be painfully oblivious sometimes.

‘Babe, what were you yelling about?’ 

Rey twisted to look over her shoulder, and was greeted by the view of her girlfriend leaning around the half-open door, her hair swinging out in a shining black curtain.

‘My idiot of a best friend,’ Rey sighed. She held out her arms in a wordless request, which Jessika fulfilled with one of the grins which had made Rey fall so hard in the first place. As Rey wrapped her arms around a soft waist and buried her face in a cotton-covered shoulder, she could only hope that Finn had started seeing sense. If there was anyone she knew who deserved happiness, it was him.

Eight minutes later, Rey’s hands were gratefully cradling a warm mug of perfectly brewed tea. Busy giving her girlfriend cow eyes over the ceramic rim, she barely even noticed when her phone chimed quietly. 

‘That’s your phone,’ Jess sang, not turning away from the cupcake batter she was mixing with a wooden spoon. Rey was forced to stop staring at the patch of flour on her cute button nose and uncurl herself from the sofa. Stretching over to the side-table, she scooped up her phone and switched it on. 

There was a single text showing on the lockscreen:

 

 **Finn♥♥** _now_  
                :))))))   
_ slide to reply_

 

Rey slid her thumb left so quickly that the pad burned.

 

 **Finn♥♥**  
_Today 5:15 PM_  


:))))))                                                                                     

**omg  
**                                                            abt time finn!!!!!!!  
  


:)))))))))))))                                                                              

**i demand photographic evidence!!!**

 

Fingers drumming against the back of her iPhone, grinning so widely that her cheeks were actually beginning to ache, Rey waited. After a stretch of time which seemed like far too long but was probably only two minutes at the most, it buzzed in her hand.

Rey made a loud and inarticulate squealing sound of delight.

The photo was the second-most adorable thing she had ever seen. Finn was beaming into the camera, eyes crinkled joyfully, cheek all squished up from the kiss Poe was enthusiastically pressing into it.

Curious about what she was so excited about, the most adorable thing Rey had ever seen then sat down next to (and partly on) her. 

‘Aww!’ Jess exclaimed, pressing a delighted hand to her cheek. ‘I didn’t know they were dating!’

Jessika knew both halves of the new relationship through Rey, and actually shared Poe’s obsession with starship-shooter games. As such, the two “ _jockeyed_ ” together regularly, as Jess called it; and she’d met Finn in person a fair few times since Rey had finally worked up the courage to ask her out eighteen months ago.

‘They weren’t, until I managed to work some sense into Finn,’ Rey said with fond exasperation. ‘He hadn’t even realised that Poe was absolutely smitten with him.’

‘ _No._ ’

Jess turned to Rey with the most gracelessly poleaxed expression she’d witnessed in her entire life.

‘Yes,’ Rey sighed, somehow nodding and shaking her head simultaneously. ‘Honestly, I feel very sympathetic for anyone who’s ever tried to flirt with him.’

Abruptly, Jess broke into a cheeky grin. ‘Well, at least you were better, hey? Marginally.’

‘Shut it,’ Rey said, and blushed.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Man, these absolute _muffins._
> 
> I'm always looking for someone to yell about Finnpoe/Reyva with, so if that sounds like an activity which you would enjoy, hit me up [on my tumblr.](http://bojaegers.tumblr.com/) More prompts from the ask meme would also be epic, so feel free to send one in any time!
> 
> Comments/reviews/constructive criticism/prompts/stories of ramen failure all extremely welcome :)
> 
> ( p.s. - i would apologise for the title but honestly i'm not sorry In The Least because i'm a certified pun fiend and cannot be stopped ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ )


End file.
